That longing feeling. Those long FaceTime calls. Those pre-planned visits.

Maintaining a long-distance relationship is sure challenging. Most long-distance couples struggle to manage the separation and end up losing their heads over their relationships.

But if you talk with those couples who have successfully managed to stay in a long-distance relationship, you’ll know how much closer they've become.

So, what’s the secret of these couples who manage to have healthy long-distance relationships?

The short answer — willingness to go the extra mile to keep the relationship alive.

The long answer — a whole lot of learning from personal experiences and finding out what works best for them. If you want to be in a healthy long-distance relationship, here are some simple recommendations to consider.

6 Simple Tips to Build a Healthy Long-Distance Relationship

1. Be ‘Present’ in Each Other’s Lives

It’s easy to feel left out when you’re living miles apart. And this becomes one of the common points in arguments with couples in long-distance relationships.

The best way to manage this problem is to keep in touch about the major events in each other’s lives. 

Are there talks about your promotion?

Are you planning a weekend outing with your friends?

Are you struggling to prepare for your finals?

Talk to your partner about such happenings in your life. Open up about what you feel, your immediate plans and the drama around you to make them feel like they’re present in your life even when they aren’t physically. 

And when they do share about their life’s happenings, be sure to remember that, follow up, encourage and above all, be there for them.

2. Let ‘Organic’ Communication Take Its Way

Many people recommend having a strict communication regime to sustain a long-distance relationship. But that may not work for all.

Especially when you’re in different time zones, this stick-to-the-same-time call may not be the best way to have a healthy conversation. Instead, let the communication happen organically. You should want to talk to your partner because you want to and not because you’re supposed to.

Communication is the key to having a healthy relationship. And when communication is all you have in a long-distance relationship, it shouldn’t be forced. You want an emotional connection even when you’re cities apart and not a mandatory communication rule.

If your partner has something important to share or talk about with you, make yourself available as soon as possible. If you want to have a leisure talk, pick up a phone or ping a message and quickly get on a call.

If you find yourself falling into a set of routine calls organically, let it happen! Go where your natural instincts take you, forge strong emotional bonds and never force each other to follow strict call routines.

3. Plan Surprise ‘Video’ Dates

Long gone are the days when letters and telephone calls were the only ways to communicate with your partner in a long-distance relationship. When you have technology on your side, make the most of it.

Plan small surprise dates for your partner. It can be as simple as ordering their favourite food to their location with candles and flowers and setting up a ‘video call’ date. Show your partner that you’re invested in the relationship and willing to make an effort. This could be the instant boost to bring you both closer.

4. Keep Each Other Updated with ‘Clip’ Messages

Yet again, technology comes to our rescue. When both of you are busy with your lives and don’t have much time to spend on calls, ‘clip’ messages can help.

It can be a simple video clip of you working in your office, studying at night, or partying with your friends. You can even make it a short audio clip of a few seconds telling your partner how much they mean to you.

Whenever you remember your partner and miss them, don’t wait for the call to tell them that! Instead, make a short video or audio clip and make them feel loved.

5. Have Something ‘Special’ to Look Forward To

Going on a mundane life without anything to look forward to can kill a relationship. When you have something special in the future to talk about, this hope will give a new life to your long-distance relationship.

It could be about your upcoming vacation together, your new apartment or your partner’s new job. You can discuss this new event happening soon, share your excitement and support each other from a distance. 

6. Take a ‘Breath’ Before an Argument

We’re wired to go off our rails when we see or hear something about our partner that we don’t like. We like getting on the phone, shouting our heads off before giving the other person a chance to respond. 

And this is exactly how many harm their relationship.

 When we can’t see our partner, we may start making assumptions based on hearsay. But such irrational fear can only do more damage.

The next time you’re up for an argument or about to accuse your partner of something, take a breath, step back and think. 

Think rationally, speak calmly and give your partner a chance to explain. Hear their side of the story, talk about your feelings, listen to theirs and approach the argument in the healthiest way possible — as a discussion.

In a long-distance relationship, it’s always easy to jump to conclusions, feel left out or get stuck in a rut. Having the hope of the future and staying connected emotionally can help tough out the hardest days and come back stronger and more connected together.