If only there were an easy answer to this question of a lifetime!

Getting married is the single most important decision you’ll ever make in your life. It can change the entire course of your future — for the better or worse and this decision hinges entirely on whom you’re getting married to.

Marriage isn’t an easy decision and it definitely isn’t something you do on a whim. For every 13 seconds, there’s one divorce happening in the USA. And almost 50% of marriages end in a divorce. When the odds aren’t in your favor, it’s critical more than ever to make a conscious, well-thought-out decision to spend the rest of your lives together. There’s no simple formula to decide if a marriage between two people works. Or if two people are ‘ready’ to get married. You can’t let the world dictate when you want to get married. Nor your partner. It should be the decision of two people to wholeheartedly go forward with their relationship and make a place for each other in their lives.

If you want to know whether you and your partner are at that stage of life, this blog will help clear it up.

1. Your Relationship Has a Solid, Unshakeable Foundation

You and your partner may have lots of fights. But you’re able to end those fights amicably, put those sour feelings aside and can’t wait to come back again to each other. 

You notice that both you and your partner are ready to resolve the fights as soon as possible in a sensitive and practical way instead of dragging them down. This is a good sign that you have a healthy relationship.

No matter how much you fight or have disagreements, both of you feel that the foundation of your relationship is still intact and unshaken. 

In fact, if both of you are ready to agree to disagree and go back to your normal routine, it shows how mature and serious your relationship is.

2. Your Core Values Towards a Relationship Align Perfectly

No two people have the same likes and dislikes. And it’s okay that your partner has different interests, hobbies and principles in life than you.

But the core of your relationship — the values that hold it together — need to be in sync. 

When you want your partner to talk about their everyday happenings daily, but they aren’t ready to, such small instances can roll into a big issue in the future.

So make sure that both of you are ready to commit and follow the same set of values that hold your relationship together.

Both of you should be ready to:

• Make compromises whenever needed for the sake of the relationship.

• Communicate openly about what’s troubling you and take steps to resolve the issues quickly.

• Welcome each other openly into your lives and do everything you can to make them feel included.

• Put aside your individual preferences to make the relationship work.

• Discuss important life choices with your partner before making a decision.

These are just a handful of core values that hold a marriage together. You and your partner should be on the same page about such similar relationship traits.

3. You Trust Each Other Completely

If there’s one trait of a relationship that’s the most essential and non-negotiable, it’s trust.

No matter whatever issues you may face in your future, you’ll always find a way to mend it back when you trust your partner completely. 

But without trust in a marriage, there’s bound to be doubt creeping up and more uncertainties cropping up. When you don’t believe your partner, you start doubting everything that comes out of their mouth. You won’t believe their intentions and even a harmless action may plant a seed of suspicion in your mind.

Leading such a life can only mean disaster.

Both of you should have faith and trust in each other. And both partners need to reinforce this trust constantly and never allow even a small iota of doubt to seep in.

4. You’re Ready to Accept Your Partner As Such — With All Flaws and Scars

Ask yourself this and then to your partner: If you could change any character of your partner, would you? And what is it?

If you or your partner have any insignificant answer like putting the toilet seat down or snoring, then it’s fine. 

But if your replies point out any significant character trait or flaw, then you need to realign and think hard about it.

Certain characteristics don’t change overnight, nor would it be necessary for people to change. You need to be okay to live with all of such characteristics of your partner and accept them.

If you or your partner wants to change such a significant nature, sit down and talk about it before your marriage. Have a healthy and calm discussion and see if you can reach a consensus.

5. You Agree on the Crucial Life Decisions

Marriage is the beginning of your future and from then on, you need to make joint decisions in life.

So before you plan your wedding or even agree to get married, you need to have some honest and hard conversations.

You need to find out if both of you have the same views on:

• Whether or not to have children

• If you do want children, discuss when to have children and how many.

• Prioritizing work and personal life

• Money

• Set boundaries on cheating

• Set personal boundaries

• Decide on the involvement of parents

• Decide how to follow spiritualistic and religious beliefs

• Sex

There are a lot of other things that you need to talk about before you decide to get engaged.

If you’re still unsure about some of these points, then you can sit down with your partner and work through our Couple Goal Digital Workbook. With this workbook, you can decide your vision, life goals, how to proceed, and get a better understanding of what your partner wants — and most importantly, if both your ideas align.