Welcome to the Summit Survey Series - it's great to have you here with us! 

During this series, we are exploring the questions answered by people you wanted to answer it. Each article will explore the statements and the solutions that could remedy each issue.

We conducted this detailed survey to find the answers to your questions with the results to provide resources that will genuinely help you. You can read through all 5 article 'episodes' or dive straight into the topic that best suits your current concerns.

All the study survey analytics, summary, and reports can be found here.

Question 5 of 5: What Online Resources and/or Books Do You Recommend For Newlyweds?

Answered by: 132 Married Individuals throughout America.

If you have got this far in our survey series, then you are already more equipped than you started out in preparation for marriage! We have discussed many topics and aspects that marriage implicates. From the importance of open communication through to the skills you’ll need to make your marriage last, we have certainly covered a lot within these episodes together so far. It seems a perfect end to our series to discuss the helpful resources you can add to your ‘marriage toolkit’ going forwards. Not only that, but who better to make these recommendations than those who are already married. Online searches might offer easy shopping lists, but word of mouth recommendations from those who are standing where you intend to be be in the future certainly trumps Google in this instance.

You might not be surprised to learn that The Holy Bible was one of the reading resources that was most recommended by the respondents of our survey. Faith is certainly a powerful motivator for many couples, no matter what religion or belief system they might personally follow. Any resource, such as The Bible in this example, that inspires a sense of hope and belief in positive potential is going to be a beneficial resource for many.

Disclaimer: We are not associated with/nor promoting any particular faith; we are reporting survey answer data. As our data set comes from American households, where Christians make up 70% of the population, the answers came from a high percentage of Christians. It is conceivable that answers would vary if the survey were to be replicated in other regions of the world, possibly recommending other religious books.

The next resource that our online community of survey responders highlighted, was very popular relationship education book ‘The 5 Love Languages’ which was written by Dr. Gary Chapman over 10 years ago. Chapman’s written perspectives offer the concept that we all identify and offer love in 5 distinct ways, based on our previous experiences of how love was shown to us in childhood and beyond. The book remains a consistent best-seller and it has offered valuable guidance to millions of couples all over the world.

Principally, the 5 love languages (and their relevant behaviours) are the following:

🗣Affirmations (encouraging language, unexpected sentimentality, constructive observations)

✋🏾Physical Touch (body language, touch, intimacy, tactile reassurances)

🎁Sharing Gifts (thoughtfulness, prioritisation, gratitude, creativity, surprises)

⏰Quality Time (uninterrupted focus, deep conversations, one-to-one time, special occasions)

🛠Acts of Service (offers of help, supportive dialogue, sharing chores, alleviating workload)

By better understanding what type of love language you need and offer one another, you can better know how best to provide for each other as your marriage progresses. For example, if you learn that your partner identifies loving behaviours in the ‘acts of service’ category then you might offer to help them with their list of tasks one weekend or offer to take care of the children while they rest up after a busy day. In this way you will be increasing your bond and demonstrating care for their needs and desires. There is a wealth of relationship education knowledge - as you have already discovered - available online. Sometimes it might become overwhelming when you want to find one clear voice on an issue you are currently facing within your current relationship. Where possible, avoid forums and discussion threads that may cause you further anxiety. Don’t forget that many people head online to vent or to complain. I think we can all agree that chat groups don’t always offer the positivity and helpful advice we might be seeking! Invest in quality literature and online resources that will support your marital journey. Look for reputable experts who have appropriate training and education to back their perspectives and written theories. Seek experts that you align with in terms of your beliefs and values and let go of any need to follow the crowd. Just because one ‘of the moment’ expert is followed by millions doesn’t mean they have the resources you need. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart. There might also be a wealth of helpful information closer to you than you might think. You might have access to some of the most useful resources out there, without currently knowing it. Know of a happily married couple? Know of someone who has worked through a difficult relationship situation in their past? Perhaps you have a friend or two who has faced the prospect of divorce and overcome it. These people could become incredibly developmental sources of guidance for you. We already know that numerous married couples are keen to share their ideas and experiences about marriage - they replied to our survey! Don’t be afraid to reach out to trusted friends and family members that might offer insightful wisdom to you and your partner. The online and literary worlds are fully of learning opportunities, but so might be your social and familial circles. Take a good look around yourself. You might be surprised who could offer you the advice you’ve been looking for all along. Well, here we are! We have reached the end of a five stage journey that began with starting an online conversation with our online community. During the written course of these last five articles we have seen and heard from the experts (you, the readers) and explored together the ideas and concepts that our incredible survey responders offered up. We’re so glad you could join us. What did you learn? Let us know!