Couple Goals—Your Guide to What They Are, and Why You Need Them!

Considering developing some fresh future goals with your partner? Then let’s dive right in. If this is your initial foray into the world of establishing couple goals, then you are certainly not the only one. Many of us have a fixed idea of the direction we would like to head with our own lives and our relationship. But when was the last time you sat down with your partner to discuss the particulars of your ideas, to see if you align?

Skipping out goal planning implicates missing out on valuable opportunities for deep connection.

Couple goals aren’t just practical. They are a loving space of communication from which we can grow closer with our partners. By spending valuable time sharing our ambitions and future plans, we can then set up a strong framework from which to navigate the relationship as a whole. Where would you like your relationship to be in a few years time? Or even a few months, in fact. These are the clues that will help you develop your couple goal plans.

Photo by: Git Stephen Gita

"So—What Are Couple Goals Exactly?”

Couple goals are shared goals between the individuals involved in a relationship. They are the identified aspirations that carry forth a couple to the future they would like to pursue together as a team. When we have goals to work towards, we enjoy a sense of purpose as a result. Moving towards an aspiration helps us find motivation in daily tasks and experiences. When we share those goals with the one we love, we join together to make that feeling even more powerful.

The goals we decide upon do not need to be huge or life-changing. Future plans can include simplistic elements such as eating a little healthier each week, building up step counts on daily walks together, or enjoying learning some new and delicious recipes in your home kitchen. In fact, weaving in several achievable couple goals into your plans will actually help boost your confidence in your shared capabilities. Get creative!

Larger and more significant goals might include house buying, global travels, professional progress, economic savings, and family planning. These are the kinds of decisions that require thorough consideration and mutual agreement. When two people venture towards differing goals, it can cause hurt and even relationship breakdown later down the line.

“Okay—Got Any Handy Do’s and Don’ts to Get Us Started?”

When it comes to setting couple goals, there are some essential basics you’re going to need to get familiar with. These ground rules will ensure you avoid time-wasting, conflict, and later disappointment relating to this venture as a whole. If you are entirely new to this relationship practice then grab a fresh journal and a pen and take note. This next part could make all the difference to your potential success.

Do’s.

— Do remain true to yourselves at all times. There is no need to replicate anyone else’s journey, no matter what certain social media accounts might try and fool you into believing. You chose your partner for good reason and visa versa. Build your own authentic journey forwards from here, in the way that suits you both best. Let your couple goals reflect your unique selves, always. Stay honest with your partner rather than trying to live up to plans that aren’t in alignment with your values. Cultivating a habit of truth will save great heartache for you both later on.

— Do make it a lot of fun. Planning couple goals doesn’t need to be overly serious or overwhelmingly heavy. Meet to talk about your ideas for the future in your favorite café. Or go for a hike with a view as you open up fresh conversations about where you see yourselves in the next chapter of your relationship. Get some brightly colored pens and a fresh notebook ready, or invest in a giant whiteboard. Whatever sparks joy will help your creative vision to develop. There are no rules to this, remember. Take creative license and run (or dance) with it!

Don’ts.

— Don’t get carried away and stop listening to one another. It is perfectly natural to get excited about a new idea or future prospect. But don’t let that pure excitement prevent you from listening to your partner. Ensure you both have a say in your plans as a unified team. Learn to trust each other with even the most (seemingly) hair-brained ideas. Who knows where they could lead? Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and let them in on your deepest ambitions.

— Don’t bite off more than you can both chew. If you dive straight into setting giant goals too soon, you will likely become frustrated with the practice as a whole ‘perfectly’ immediately. You are capable of anything but take your time here. It’s a process, not a race. Tread with confidence, not haste. Adapt your plans as you venture, ensuring you stay aligned as a couple as you do so. Enjoy celebrating small wins just as much as the larger gains!

Oh, and one more thing...

Stripped right down, couple goals are simply the structure from which you can cultivate the kind of relationship you aspire to have with your partner. Your couple goals might not be in terms of what you’re heading towards but rather ambitions for the place you’d like your relationship to eventually be. Perhaps you’d like a more supportive dynamic to grow between you. Or you might like to carve out more quality time for one another within your increasingly busy schedules. These are valid and important goals for you both.

Make them personal, make them loving, and—most of all—make them count. when things don’t turn out.

To help make your couple goal journey easier, we made a Couple Goal Workbook. Check it out!