Creative Expressions of Love: Guide for Husbands
Research in relationship science suggests that communication and relationship satisfaction over the long term are intimately connected. However, for many people, especially men, it can be hard to show their affection, which can lead to misunderstandings and weaken the bond between a couple. Men are often socialized to be less emotional and keep their emotions bottled up rather than expressing them. Still, by learning to have a healthier relationship with their emotions and using shared emotional connections with a partner, men can offer creative expressions of love to show affection and strengthen bonds with their partners.
Over time, relationships can become stagnant and get into an emotional rut. People are creatures of habit, and while you may try to show your affection, the same old gestures don't seem as meaningful, and your partner may not recognize your attempts at connecting with them. That's where creativity comes into play in strengthening the marital bond. Husbands showing affection can strengthen the communication and bonds of any relationship by finding dynamic ways to show their care and keep the relationship from going stale. Moreover, establishing creative forms of showing affection prevents partners from feeling like they are being taken for granted and not being appreciated.
Active listening is a way to express love to your spouse.
Emotionally Intelligent Gestures
Emotional intelligence in marriage is one of the most underrated skills a couple can use to form deeper, long-lasting bonds. The Gottman Institute points out that emotional intelligence in men is the first step towards showing that they honor and respect their partner. When a man doesn't have emotional intelligence, he is essentially rejecting his partner and their influence. By denying how his partner feels, a husband leaves space in the relationship for misunderstandings and a gradual breakdown in communication. Relationships rely on emotional intelligence to see humanity in one another because only by doing that can partners tend to each other's emotional needs, which are just as important as physical needs.
Partners need to have empathy. Empathy is not just about conceptualizing what another person is feeling, but it is about going through it with them, showing them that you are not a bystander but a full participant in your partner's struggles and joys.
Learn Active Listening Skills
One of the best ways that husbands can show empathy is by using active listening skills, which is one of the most important communication skills. Active listening means that you are allowing your partner to say what they need to say without making the conversation about yourself. It means that you are not distracted and are giving your full attention to your partner.
Active listening also means you aren't planning what you are going to say or even giving your opinion. Instead, you ask follow-up questions to help better understand and clarify what your partner is trying to communicate. While husbands often want to fix things when their partner feels bad, often, partners just need someone who is going to give their full attention.
Offer to do household chores you don't normally do.
Notice Your Partner's Emotional Needs and Cue
You also want to take stock of your partner's emotional needs. We all have basic emotional needs, but each person has different needs that are more important to them. For example, if your partner is having a hard week at work, they may need to vent their frustrations about their boss, or they may simply want you to take them out to do something fun and distract them from their struggles.
You can learn your partner's emotional cues by paying attention to how they respond to situations and reacting accordingly, but when in doubt, you can ask them, "Is there something you need?" or give them a choice, "Do you want to talk about it or get out of here and do something fun?"
When given the space to make whatever choice works for them, your partner will usually open up in their own time. Sometimes, people just need an opening to get negative emotions off their chest. Sometimes, emotions are complicated, and they may need time to sort out how they are really feeling.
Creative Expressions of Love Need Understanding Your Own Emotions
While we've focused a lot on understanding your partner's emotions, it's also crucial that men understand their own emotions. Men who do not express their feelings or show respect and honor to their wives are prone to more marital challenges, including divorce. Men who don't even know how they are feeling will struggle to understand how anyone else is feeling, so take some steps to start to unpack some of your own emotions.
Many emotions may seem like one thing on the surface but are something else deep down. For instance, anger is commonly experienced, but beneath the initial anger, what you may really be feeling is hurt, disappointment, or anxiety. Your emotions aren't simple, and neither are your partners.
That's why emotional intelligence is so important. When we reduce emotions to something simple, we miss out on the nuance and don't respond as productively as we could, but when we embrace the complexity of emotions, we respond more healthily and seek to understand our partners and ourselves better. By being more vulnerable with your emotions, you and your partner can appreciate each other mutually.
Continue dating and romance after marriage.
Continued Courtship (never stop dating)
Sometimes, people lose track of continuing dating and romance after marriage or when a couple has already made long-term commitments. However, it's crucial that husbands continue to take partners on dates and show them that romance is alive and well. Special moments allow partners to make memories and stay connected to their relationship. Relationships are dynamic, so changing the types of romantic gestures you choose will evolve as your relationship does.
Here are some ideas for creative dates:
Take a class together for a hobby that your partner is interested in pursuing.
Schedule a day each week to try something that you both enjoy; for instance, you can try a new coffee shop or bakery each Saturday morning.
Use childhood nostalgia. Speak to the things your partner used to enjoy as a kid and bring that into your dates. You could take them to their favorite childhood amusement park.
Get active together. Physical activity fills you with feel-good chemicals, so learning to play a sport or physical activity together can be a great way to bond.
Schedule weekend trips to see new places and experience new things.
Make a picnic to bring to your favorite location.
Always find new things to do together and share experiences rather than doing most things independently.
The options are endless, and you can customize your options based on the specifics of your relationship. The goal is to promote more quality time together—free of distractions like phones— and enrich your marital bond.
Show your partner that they are desirable.
Affirming Attractiveness and Desirability
Affirming your partner's attractiveness is an important part of showing your affection because as relationships go on, partners may feel less desirable and still need affirmations that their husband finds them desirable. By affirming attractiveness and desirability, couples are better able to check in with how their relationship is doing and respond to any challenges.
Some ways to affirm attractiveness incline:
Offering genuine compliments about looks, skills, and creative expression
Showing attraction to partner through physical affection, including hand-holding or kissing
Reminding your partner of your love
Using romantic gestures to show that the spark is still alive
Everyone wants to feel like they are attractive to their partner, so show your partner that they are desirable. Show them that you appreciate not only how they look but who they are deep down.
Creative Expressions of Love and Affection (Still don’t know? Here’s 5 ideas to jumpstart your expressions of love)
If you're still feeling a little stuck about what creative expressions of affection you can infuse into your relationship, don't worry. We want to help you access your creative energies and find ideas that serve your relationship. Once you start getting creative, the ideas will start to flow, and you'll find that showing affection isn't as hard as you may think.
There are plenty of ways to start expressing your love:
Love notes, nice sticky notes, or letters
Scheduling surprise outings
Ordering personalized gifts
Offering to do household chores you don't normally do
Making more quality time to spend with your partner
Suggesting new hobbies you can enjoy together
There are lots of ways that you can start expressing love. One great idea is to use love notes. Writing a sticky note, sending an email, or even mailing a letter can all be effective ways of showing your affection. Partners will also respond to surprise outings or personalized gifts.
You want to tailor these suggestions to what your partner likes. Pay attention to what they love and what makes them happiest. By doing that, you can easily think of tons of ways to show your love. For instance, if your partner likes basketball, get them a gift related to their favorite player or buy tickets to a special game. When you think specifically about your partner, you're already getting creative without having to force that creativity.
The main necessity of creative expressions of love is that it isn't something you do every day. You want to do these gestures often, but don't rely on just one gesture to carry your relationship. Finding diverse ways to express your affection will have the best results.
The Importance of Creative Expressions of Love From Husbands
Husbands showing affection is something that we don't always see in a society that has certain expectations of what a strong man looks like, but husbands who can learn to show more affection will help build stronger and more emotionally balanced relationships.
By learning to be emotionally intelligent, continuing romance, affirming attractiveness, and utilizing creative expressions, husbands can be more affectionate and show their partners that they're trying to understand and are offering as much emotional care as they can. Husbands with strong relationships know that showing affection is a strength and not a weakness. Only by learning more emotional intelligence can they connect on a more meaningful level with their partners.
If you struggle to show your affection, it's time to embrace creative expressions of love to show your partner that you're committed to your relationship and your partner. For more tips on communication, relationships, and emotional intelligence, you can subscribe to our newsletter below!
