Stop comparing your relationships to other couple’s highlight reels.

You have the freedom to define your relationship. You have the power to establish your standards and values. That being said, relationship standards have changed drastically over time.

At the dawn of humanity, the primary purpose of finding a mate was for the survival of our species. Then marriages became social contracts used to help expand lands and power. Additionally, marriages were necessary for a woman's survival in society. Thus, giving all the power to men and taking many rights away from women. #fuckthepatriarchy

Then the role of marriage changed when people began marrying for the sake of love. Today, we have the freedom to choose whomever. Thankfully, modern relationships have been released from the inhibiting forces of economics, religion, and family.

Consequently, the many facets of the modern world have created new issues. Such as the fear of choosing the wrong partner, lack of representation in the media (i.e., most portrayals of love have been written and directed by sexist old farts), and the dread of comparison on #couplegoals, and toxic #RelationshipToks.

Romanticism is to blame for many of these issues. Thanks to Alain de Botton, he explains and goes into depth on the disparities of the ideology and how we can move forward, but here’s a quick breakdown.

What is Romanticism?

Around 1750, an ideology sprung amongst poets and artists, then took the world by storm and set the template for what love is supposed to look like. This ideology looks a bit like Disney fairytales and over-optimistic rom-coms.

Romanticism has told you that:

Your marriage is the pinnacle of happiness and love in your life.
You never have to deal with practicalities of life—ride the high of love forever.
You and your partner should never change or want to change.
You and your partner will have amazing sex forever.
You will never be attracted to anyone else besides your partner.
You and your partner should never fight.
Your partner fulfills your every need.

This idea of love is beautiful, passionate, and fun—for a moment.

The issue with Romanticism is that it creates false expectations, naivety, and unnecessary suffering. If we look at love through a new lens we can not only save love, we can create better future for love.

The new love will:

see marriage as the beginning not an ending. Additionally, marriage is an option, not a necessity.
discuss practicalities (money, household duties, and legalities).
accept change as something natural.
understand that sex and passion goes through phases.
learn that love is a skill and practice.
be more compassionate to each other’s flaws, because we are all flawed - we are human, after all.
understand communication is necessary. (You can’t read your partner’s mind and they can’t read yours).
accept that we will never find everything in other person.

We believe that the world needs more honest conversations about relationships. Despite the efforts of self-help gurus, misguided TikTok love advice, and quick-fix sex columns—relationships are still hard work. There aren't any shortcuts to a successful relationship or marriage. That being said, you shouldn't have to settle for less than you deserve out of life.

We believe in the potential of couples to grow together for a lifetime and create a stronger relationship.

To pave way for the new love, we need to destroy Romanticism, the patriarchy, and terrible relationship content. Our mission is to create a hub of resources and tools to help you learn how to love and be loved.

The Beliefs of Couple Summit

Attention is love.

When you give attention, you cultivate the things that matter to you, which helps create growth and everlasting love. You can't cultivate what you ignore.

Healthy and long-lasting relationships are built, not found.

Unlike the fairytales, you can't rely on love-at-first-sight to carry your relationship forever. Relationships take effort, education, and communication.

All relationships are different. Define your own relationship.

Stop comparing your relationship to other couples' highlight reels. Just like you, your relationship is unique. Get rid of the old scripts that society, religion, or the media told you what love should look like. Define what love means to you—write your own love story.

Thanks for reading!

Howdy! I'm Tatiana, and together with my partner, Max, we created the Couple Summit. We put this whole thing together for several reasons. The first reason being a bit selfish—we wanted to learn the skills and tools needed to cultivate a healthy and strong relationship and hopefully avoid the painful divorces our parents experienced. Once we took the deep dive and dedicated ourselves to study love, we realized we had to share these resources with others.

We'd like to continue our mission, and we'd like to invite people like you, who give a damn about relationships, to join us.

If our mission and beliefs resonate with you, welcome! I'm grateful we found each other.

If these resonate with you and you would like to join the mission and write for our couple blog, then sign up below.