Are you ready to break up?

Photo by SHVETS production from PexelsPhoto by SHVETS production from Pexels

Not all relationships have happy endings. There are times when a relationship doesn’t work out and it’s best to cut our losses and move on. If you’ve clicked on this article, then it’s probably because you’re wondering if your relationship is nearing a similar end. 

Before we begin, let’s get one thing clear. Every relationship has its share of ups and downs and every couple needs to brave through the low points as much as they enjoy the highs. But when the bad times are more than the good times, there are high chances that your relationship is turning sour.

Some relationships don’t work out even when you’ve tried everything under the sun. It doesn’t mean that your partner is bad. It could simply be that both of you aren’t suitable for each other or that your relationship has run its course. 

This article will touch upon several other reasons to help you realize whether to break up or give your relationship another shot.

5 Reasons to Decide If You Want to Break Up… Or Not

Let’s get one thing out in the open. 

No one wants to fall out of love. Being in love is one of the most beautiful things ever and it can be hard to let go of a relationship and move forward. But sometimes, it’s a necessity when you feel that your relationship is going nowhere.

1. You’re Ignored.

Part ways when:

Your partner doesn’t give attention to your preferences and opinions. They don’t concern themselves with how you feel. 

Your partner is oblivious to your emotions — they don’t try to understand when you feel sad, hurt, upset, angry, or frustrated or why you act in a certain way. They rarely validate your feelings and instead make you feel unappreciated and judged most of the time. This is when you know that you’re nearing the breaking point.

Or… Give another shot when:

You see your partner understanding how you feel. And actually making an effort to remedy their behavior. 

It shouldn’t happen every now and then. It should be a continuous and visible effort that your partner feels sorry for making you feel that way — and ready to do everything they can to make you feel included and get your voice heard.

2. You’ve Lost Yourself.

Part ways when:

You feel that your relationship is all about your partner — their priorities, likes, dislikes, and interests.

You want your partner to give equal attention and weightage to your opinion as much as theirs. But you feel your voice getting lost in their choices and your individuality stamped before their dominating personality. If you find your identity getting lost when you’re with your partner, then it’s time to let go and move on.

Or… Give another shot when:

You’ve discussed openly how you feel with your partner. And they are genuinely sorry for making you feel so.

They are ready to give you the space to voice out your opinions, make decisions on your own, and move away from their shadow. You need to see your partner put in work to help you get back to your previous independent self and respect your opinions as much as theirs. 

3. You Don’t Feel Safe to be Yourself.

Part ways when:

You often feel like you can’t be yourself around your partner and don’t feel safe enough to open up. 

It may be because your partner hasn’t made you feel comfortable enough to show your own self or you feel judged when you’re around them. 

Whatever the underlying reasons are, this is a glaring sign that this relationship isn’t good for you anymore.

Or… Give another shot when:

You’ve tackled this issue head-on and spoken about it frankly. You see the wheels turning and your partner going out of their way to make you feel at home. 

And you start to feel safe when you’re around them. 

Remember that this shouldn’t be an intermittent feeling and instead should be the completely new way from then on.

4. You See No Future Together.

Part ways when:

You think about settling down, but your partner isn’t ready. Or you entered the relationship to have fun and can’t see being together with the person as husband and wife.

When you’re growing in your life and thinking about the next step, it’s better to have a significant someone who can be with you for a long time. But if you or your partner see no future with each other, it’s pointless to stay.

Or… Give another shot when:

You haven’t got everything figured out. And you don’t understand if they can really fit into your future. But you feel that your future would be nice if they stayed.

To get clarity, think about how you want to be in the next 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. Do you see someone exactly like your partner at your side? Or do you imagine another person totally unlike how your partner is?

Answering this will set things right for you.

Additionally, you can use our Couple Goal Digital Workbook to sit down with your partner, discuss your future and check if you both are on the same page.

5. You Feel Like Roommates Than Lovers.

Part ways when:

Your partner doesn’t initiate sex, shows no interest in having sex or indulging in any form of physical intimacy. Even when you put in efforts from your side, your partner doesn’t show excitement or even remote interest.

Or, you may no longer feel the urge to have sex with your partner. You may like spending time with your partner, but you feel more like friends — rather than lovers. 

Or… Give another shot when:

You and your partner are ready to have open conversations about sex and make efforts to spruce it up. 

Often, fantasizing about celebrities or movie scenes would only mean your yearning to try new things. If your relationship is otherwise happy, then you can open up to your partner about trying new stuff — similar to your fantasies — and give it another shot.

 

Whatever you decide after reading this article, keep in mind that you’re worthy of love.

Most times, when we’re too consumed by our feelings, we get overwhelmed. So before you decide, bring yourself away from the issue and re-examine your relationship.

Reflect on yourself, your worth and values, and how much your current relationship influences it — positively and negatively. Evaluate if you have space for growing as an individual and as a couple. Then decide if you want to break up or give another shot based on your reflections.

Lakshmi Padmanaban

Lakshmi Padmanaban is a freelance writer for the past 5 years writing for startups and SMBs. She married her long-time love after 8 long years and has since then been writing about love, relationship, and sexual wellness. She's quite passionate about issues of toxic relationships, sexual stigma, and patriarchy and grabs every chance she can to smash them.

https://lakshmipadmanaban.com/
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