2020 Holiday Gift Guide For Couples Who Care

This year has been a whirlwind. Luckily for us, we have one more month of holiday madness before the new year, and then who knows what'll happen. 

Budgeting and setting funds aside for this holiday season may have been daunting but you did it. We’re crossing our fingers you did, anyway. If you have no idea what we’re talking about, you can find out how to budget for the holidays this season in this article. (Yes, there’s still time!)

COVID-19 left us in disarray, perhaps not financially, but in some way. The beauty of being in a relationship is that you both know what your money situation looks like. And when you both know what your money situation looks like, you have an idea of how much to spend on each other this year.

The key is gifting for the person, not for you. We can get lost in the craze of the holidays with flash sales and Black Friday deals screaming through our screens at us. But some gifts aren’t the right gifts, no matter how mind-blowing the sale is. The best way to keep yourself from buying a gift you like but they don't is to think about love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman created love languages to tell us more about who we are as individuals, how we express love, and how we receive love in our relationships.

The Five Languages are:

• Words of Affirmation

• Acts of Service

• Receiving Gifts

• Physical Touch

• Quality Time

There’s power in understanding not only your partner’s love language but yours as well. A quick quiz can tell you what’s what (we recommend 5 Love Languages). We gathered thoughtful gift ideas for your partner with love languages in mind. The fact that they’re also easy on the environment and your wallet is an added bonus.

Without further ado, the holiday gift guide that helps you gift for your partner, not for yourself...

Words of Affirmation

Anyone with a Words of Affirmation love language enjoys how powerful words are. Sweet talk, encouraging, and supportive words show them the other person is there for them. Even the simplest of verbal affirmations make them feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

Create opportunities to share your feelings.

It doesn’t cost a thing to record yourself saying or writing something heartfelt. You’ll want to be in the right mindset to avoid getting stuck mid-sentence or re-recording 30 times. Fancy materials aren't required since a pen and paper do fine, as does the recorder on your phone. It’s very DIY and doesn’t do much harm to the planet if you swap the paper out for a note on your phone or a Google Doc.

Engrave something.

The price varies depending on what you get engraved. But a piece of jewelry or a cutting board that has a personalized touch can take an ordinary gift up a notch. The Tender Box on Etsy engraves items in your own handwriting and another Etsy designer, Wood Luck, engraves wooden tokens with pictures and a mixture of fonts. You can also grab something that already has value and find a place to engrave a special message. 

Open when letters.

Another brilliant, DIY idea for this love language is open when letters. Open when letters are a bundle of letters that coincide with various occasions. Your partner opens a letter when the occasion presents itself and feels all the good things. Common occasions are "when you miss me" or "when you can’t sleep." But you can get creative with this gift idea by including a personal touch to the occasions. Make it eco-friendly by creating a snazzy Google Drive folder and saving typed letters in it.

Acts of Service

Someone whose love language is Acts of Service appreciates the help they get when they least expect it. Knowing someone is there for them, and can pick up the slack when they can’t, warms their heart. It’s the little acts of kindness that make them feel loved.

Get that thing that they’ve been putting off done.

There’s no right or wrong gift here. The idea is to relieve any pressure you see your partner under. If you notice they ordinarily take care of the bills but are running behind, then shoulder that task for a bit. Make breakfast for them Christmas morning, clean up after Thanksgiving dinner, and do house chores so they don’t have to. They’ll notice and appreciate the gesture.

Make a coupon book.

Use index cards, a pen, a hole punch, and a keyring to make a coupon book of love or a coupon book of chores. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or time on this gift idea since the real gift comes every time they cash in a coupon. Or you can opt for a sleeker coupon book you still get to customize with Love Coups, which comes with 20 coupons.

Help them relax.

Let them know you appreciate their hard work and they deserve a little time to themselves. You can buy them a digital subscription to Headspace, a meditation platform. Or you can get saucy and buy them a digital subscription to an erotic audio platform like Dipsea or Audiodesires. Either can get the ball rolling and make them feel more comfortable with the idea of unwinding. 

Gifts

Someone whose love language is Receiving Gifts doesn’t make them materialistic. Gifts may not always be lavish or extravagant items. They may be small and memory-filled trinkets. It’s the thought that counts. The act of receiving a gift from someone makes them feel appreciated and thought of. 

Show them you know who they are.

The best way to show this love language you know who they are is by getting creative. There are tons of subscription boxes and services to go with any personality type. Show your partner you know them by giving the gift of recurring goodies. The Strategist has a well-rounded selection of subscription services to start with or draw inspiration from.

Relive a mutual memory.

It’s nice when you roam around the aisles of an unassuming store and find a random item that brings back special memories from your relationship. If your partner has this love language, then take advantage of those moments! There’s also the option of searching for a token from a particular memory. If you do this, then give yourself plenty of time. And prep yourself mentally for the shopping-with-a-goal-in-mind blues.

Freeze a special moment in time.

A picture says a thousand words. So do paintings, music, and creative interpretations. Show your partner you love them with an interpretation of a memory you share. Aimee Rose Design on Etsy captures sound waves from a song, phrase, or personal audio recording and turns it into a magnificent painting. Perfect for freezing moments in time.

Touch

Anyone with a Physical Touch love language finds touch comforting and reassuring. Having this love language doesn’t mean they have a high sex drive or are super into PDA. They simply feel an immense connection to someone from kissing, hugging, hand-holding, and other forms of touch.  

Share intimate moments with each other.

Being in the moment with each other is trying sometimes. Planning intimate moments doesn't make them any less special or intimate. A nifty sex journal from Uncommon Goods lets you use writing as a medium to connect with your partner about tougher topics like sex. 

Plan a romantic getaway.

Splurge a little and plan a weekend for the two of you. Enjoy around the clock time together without interruptions. Plan a massage for your partner or for the two of you. Prices vary depending on where you’re at but generally start at $50 for one hour-long massage. Relax and let the holidays slip away.

Let them know you’re thinking of them.

Even if you and your partner aren’t around each other 24/7, there are ways to allude to touch even when you aren’t there. A set of long-distance bracelets from Uncommon Goods vibrates and lights up when either of you touches their bracelet. It's a great way to feel touch without being close enough to actually touch.

Quality Time

Someone whose love language is Quality Time enjoys being around the people they love. They aren’t clingy or obsessive. But they particularly crave bouts of undivided attention. No distractions. Just them and the person they care for spending time together. 

Take a night to get curious about each other.

Pick a night or a few to turn off the phones, the laptops, and the TVs and focus on each other. This love language is all about showing your partner your focus is on them. A card question game like The Skin Deep’s {THE AND} Couple Edition can help you get vulnerable and deepen your connection.

Check out a local event or activity.

Scour Groupon and Eventbrite for deals on things happening in your area. You can start a new hobby together, find a bar crawl to join, or go to a market in the city. The possibilities are endless with activities and events to plan to do together. Try making this gift a recurring gift by planning something for a set number of months. With the plans already made, all you have to do is enjoy each other’s company.

Plan a fun day.

Your partner may care less about where they spend time with you. The point is to make time to spend time. Use your creative juices to plan a fun day filled with activities, foods, and events you know for a fact they’ll enjoy. You can create a scavenger hunt and end it with a romantic evening in or at your favorite spot.

Gift giving may or may not be in the cards this year. Or it may look a lot different than it usually does. However it does look, try to zero in on what matters to the person you’re gifting to. If you can, shop locally (online or in-person) to show your support for small businesses. We’re all trying to make it out of 2020. Happy holidays!