Divorce Rates Have Peaked For Couples in their 20's - How To Buck The Statistic!
Statistically, if divorce is going to happen, then it will likely occur within the first ten years of the life of the marriage. Divorce rates have reached their peak for those marrying in their twenties with a vast majority of the divorces in the 'within ten years' bracket belonging to millennial generation couples. If you're a fiancé reading this who is in their twenties or planning to be, or just want to make the right choice, please don't despair.
You aren't doomed to a sentence of inevitable romantic failure, and there's no need to call off your impending nuptials. Yes, statistically, you might be more likely to divorce - but statistics are collective numbers, and you are just some number. This article is all about bucking the statistic - if that's what your heart wants! There are some reliable, key ways that you can strengthen your relationship to lessen the chances of a sticky end between you and your marital spouse. You might be surprised to realize that these methods might not have changed since your grandparent's marriage and those before that. In fact, some (not all) of previous generations' behaviors could be a perfect example.
Before we explore the ways to make a marriage last, I want to touch on an important issue.
Divorce is often spoken about in negative terms. It is seen as a failure or a 'let down.' The rise in divorce rates of the years has sparked the connotation of giving up and giving in. Yes, fewer couples got divorced in the past. But that doesn't mean everyone was in a happy marriage. There were women who could not divorce their abusive husbands. There were unhappy men who couldn't come out as gay and had to stay married to women while living a lie. There were marriages that existed predominantly in silence, knowing the bond had long been lost but that societally it would be unacceptable to separate. Divorce, in these cases, would be a far more positive result than the alternatives. If you have married the right person for you and you genuinely want to build a healthy, happy marriage together, then this is certainly causing for celebration!
It is an incredible thing to find someone we can share life's rich experiences with and to grow old with. When the partnership is happily balanced, the opportunities for joy are limitless! Make sure you're with the person you can be yourself with, even on the more difficult days - this is the 'right' person for you.
So what did our grandparents (and older generations before them) have in their marriages, that modern coupledom might be missing - what's their secret? I think we can all agree that we are currently living in an age where free time is harder to come by than ever before. When was the last time you truly relaxed and spent an empty afternoon replenishing your energy levels? Life tends to happen at breakneck speed for many of us, which can cause our home lives with our partners to suffer.
Making time for each other was routine in the past. Evenings were for family time. Now we have the distractions of television, smartphones, and media to distract us all. This problem is chronic for younger couples (such as those in their twenties) more than any other.
Previous generations of married couples might have got it right with their family dinners away from screens - what an incredible opportunity to catch up with each other!
Try placing a 'tech basket' in another room to drop your phones and smart pads into when you want to spend quality time together. Or make a room in the house (such as your bedroom…) a tech-free zone. This small change could create a wealth of opportunities to connect with your spouse more deeply than you might ever have expected. Don't be tempted to go and check your notifications - keep your eyes and soul in the room!
Communication will come more naturally when it's practiced. Spending most of your time at work or pursuing your personal interests and assuming you'll still stay just as connected with your wife or husband is short-sighted. Independent activities are healthy, but letting your partner fall to the bottom of your priority list is definitely not.
Book date nights, get up an hour earlier for breakfast together, or whatever else you can do to stay face to face and moving forwards side by side.
Life doesn't have to be such a race. Don't feel you have to bow to the expectation of social media to get engaged or married before you're ready. You're signing up for marriage with one person, not a list of followers. Whether you are in your twenties, thirties, or nineties, you should never marry anyone a moment sooner than you feel ready to. Society has changed, and living together as an unmarried couple is perfectly acceptable now. Get to know each other before making it legally binding.
Never forget that you're signing up for marriage, not just a wedding. If you've been planning your wedding since you were little and you're dying to don a wedding tux or bridal gown, try to be patient! A few more years of waiting for your 'big day' could be the time you need to find the right person for you, or to build the bond of trust with your prospective partner that you need to avoid becoming a victim of the statistics. Love really is all you'll ever need, legal documents or otherwise.
