How to Be Vulnerable: Why It's Important to Be Vulnerable in a Relationship
Many of us equate vulnerability with weakness. But it isn’t.
If being vulnerable makes you uneasy or pulls you back into a shell, then I’m here to tell you otherwise.
Vulnerability doesn’t make you weak; instead, it can make you stronger. But a lot of us have been taught from our childhood to bottle up our feelings and not show our emotions. And so, it grows with us and becomes our natural instinct to immediately take a step back when we’re about to open up and show our vulnerable side. Such repressed feelings eventually lead to contempt and bitterness that can spoil your relationship.
This can be harmful, especially when you’re in a meaningful relationship. A healthy relationship requires both partners to support, appreciate and value each other. And this doesn’t happen if you’re only having mundane conversations, show only your superficial emotions and stay within the walls of ‘safe’ conversation topics.
3 Reasons Why You Need to be Vulnerable with Your Partner
1. Discover Our Own True Self
Before we talk about being vulnerable to our special someone, we should look inside and see if we’re honest with ourselves about how we feel.
We like to be seen as a ‘tough guy. And being ‘tough,’ many believe, is to keep things bottled up and show a straight face to the outside world — even to our loved ones.
But that’s far from the right approach to entering a meaningful relationship. When you aren’t true to yourself and honest about your emotions, you won’t lead a loving relationship.
2. Develop Trustworthiness
Let’s imagine a situation where you’re avoiding talking about your feelings with all your might. It can lead to a sense of distrust, uneasiness and uncertainty that drives a wedge between the partners.
Your partner can doubt your intentions, and your aloofness can be misinterpreted as your disinterest. It strains your bond and the only way for the relationship to travel from there is down.
If you’re able to open up about your feelings with your partner, you can avoid uncertainties and develop an honest relationship from the start. When you’re capable of telling your partner, ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love the way you make me feel,’ you open up the two-way street for giving and receiving love through emotions.
3. Become Closer to Your Partner
Vulnerability is when you open up to your partner with trust and say, ‘Here I am with all my faults, insecurities and fears. And I hope you love me the same.’
It’s when your partner says back, ‘I love all your frayed edges and accept you as you are wholeheartedly.’
Such a vulnerable, open-up conversation would bring the two of you so much closer than you ever were. It adds a beautiful touch to the relationship where both the partners see each other’s shortcomings and love them with all they have.
Image by Kiều Trường from Pixabay
How to Be Vulnerable in a Relationship
Start Small with Appreciations
When you are so tight-lipped with your feelings that you’ve never once appreciated or acknowledged someone and the way they made you feel, then start there.
Express how important your partner is to you and appreciate the small efforts they take. Foster your relationship with such positive emotions first and become comfortable with your vulnerable side.
Prepare Yourself for Discomfort
The first time you try to be vulnerable, you can be extremely nervous and uncomfortable. And that’s completely okay.
The most important thing here is to bear through that discomfort and successfully put yourself out there — all flaws and fears out on display. Once you get through that zone of discomfort, you’ll feel more relaxed, loosened and satisfied for getting it out of your chest.
Learn to Manage Conflicts Well
It’s okay to have conflicts. Many don’t want to talk about their emotions, afraid that their partner may not see it the same way. Or worried that it might end in a conflict.
However, we need to be aware that no relationship is free from conflicts, including the most successful ones.
Reveal yourself without being afraid of getting into fights. Your relationship needs to be built on trust and honesty. And you can’t do that when you’re emotionally closed.
Listen and Respond
This is one of the critical aspects of every relationship. When your partner is showing their vulnerable side, it’s important to acknowledge that and show them that you respect it.
Most people who are afraid of being vulnerable can never acknowledge their partner’s emotions. And this can only lead to an unbalanced relationship. Even when you’re not yet ready to show your feelings, at least listen them out. Understand what they say and respond to them in a way that makes them feel secure and reassured.
Vulnerability is one of the essential pillars of a relationship. Without vulnerability, a relationship will only be superficial and you’ll soon realize that it’s going nowhere. Start small by showing your happy feelings and slowly open yourself up to your partner.
If you want to be vulnerable but have trouble showing your emotions, the Couple Goals Digital Workbook can help you out. You can sit down with your partner, talk about your goals and future plans as you progress through the workbook and naturally explore your emotions.
