How to Write a Love Letter
In these days of instant and rapid communication, it’s easy for even the sincerest of sentiments to become diluted electronically.
That’s why a love letter can be so powerful: there is something special about a letter’s physicality that stands out and helps your voice be heard; they make the recipient pause and leave the world of notifications behind as they focus on your meaningful handwritten note.
However, the catch is that writing a love letter involves a bit more effort than a text message and can perhaps feel alienating if you’re not used to putting pen to paper. But trust me when I say your efforts will pay off— love letters really do work wonders, and I am here to provide some tips for how to write a heartfelt and impactful love letter!
Step One: Brainstorm
One way to begin brainstorming is by jotting down any poignant memories of your love letter’s recipient that come to mind. For example, perhaps try remembering the moments that first made you adore them— how their laugh crackles like heat lighting, how they shake out their hair after taking off a hat or putting on a sweater, how they held the elevator door for you.
Then, progress to more recent memories like what you did when you last saw each other— walking around the park, getting take-out from your favorite restaurant, spending all morning in bed. Another way you can approach the brainstorming process is by thinking of objects or places with special significance— the robe they left behind that still smells like them, an old polaroid, where you met.
Now, take a moment to consider the purpose of your love letter.
Do you want to win their affection?
Do you want to make them cry?
Do you want to reassure them that your love is still steadfast?
Once you have an idea of your love letter’s purpose, review your list and put stars next to the bullet points that seem most relevant to your purpose. Keep your brainstorming list at hand as you transition to the next step— they will be good things to include in the rough draft of your love letter!
Step Two: Write a Rough Draft
Start composing your love letter by writing a rough draft in a notebook or even on your computer. I recommend doing this because a piece of nice, blank paper can be intimidating, and you don’t want to distract the love letter’s recipient by crossing out a lot of words! It also helps lower the stakes.
Your love letter doesn’t have to be perfect the first time.
If you are struggling to find a compelling opening line, consider including an epigraph in your love letter.
An epigraph is a brief quote that goes at the start of a text and helps provide insight for your reader in regard to your intentions. The epigraph could be an excerpt from a love poem, a verse from a song that’s been important to your relationship, or even a quote from a movie. If possible, find an epigraph that relates to something from your brainstorming list— a song you listened to on a date, the book you were reading the last time you saw them, or the last movie you watched together. Then, start your letter by briefly stating where the epigraph comes from before describing its significance and what it reminds you of in regard to your relationship with the recipient.
Another way to approach starting a love letter is to describe where you are writing it. This will help your recipient picture you and can be an effective way to subtly lay the groundwork for the personal and sincere things you really want to say. For example, can you see an item related to something from your brainstorming list? Are you lying in the bed you once shared? If so, use this object and/or setting as way to pivot from describing where you are physically to where you are mentally.
Once you are satisfied with your opening, follow wherever your feelings lead you. Love letters shouldn’t feel too stiff or formal, so don’t worry about having perfectly structured sentences or ornate diction! You shouldn’t sound like Petrarch or Neruda— the recipient of your love letter has, will, or won’t fall in love with you. And if they don’t want to be with your truest self, you shouldn’t want to be with them either.
Since love is a dialogue, you should also include plenty of questions addressed to your recipient. For example, you can ask them how they remember a certain moment, what their favorite date has been, or what they want to do in the future with you. This will help make the letter more engaging and increase the likelihood that you’ll receive a love letter in return! Though I encourage you to include questions throughout the love letter, I particularly recommend including them at the end.
Last but not least, you need to choose a sign-off. This might seem fairly insignificant, but how you sign off carries a lot of meaning and can make or break a love letter. For example, if you are just getting to know someone, signing off with love you forever might be a bit over the top, but it would be just fine if you have been in a serious relationship with the recipient for quite some time.
Here are a few ways to sign off during a budding vs. established relationship:
Budding
Hope all is well
Looking forward to seeing you again
All the best
Established
Yours always
All my love
Lots of love
Miss you madly
With love
Step Three: Choose Your Materials
Though the love letter’s content is certainly of paramount importance, how it’s presented is also crucial since a love letter’s physicality is a part of what makes it so impactful. I like to choose the materials I use for a love letter after writing a rough draft not only because it allows me to have a concrete idea of how much paper I will need, but also because it allows me to choose materials that are directly related to the love letter’s content.
When considering what materials to use, think about the emotions different colors and textures can evoke or what the recipient’s favorite colors are. In addition to the paper for the letter and envelope, you should reflect on what you use to write the love letter. I recommend using a pen instead of a pencil since ink is less likely to fade with time and (usually) cannot be erased. Try to make your language pop by using unexpected color combinations, but always make sure there is enough contrast between the ink and paper that your writing is easily legible!
Step Four: Transcribe Your Love Letter
Now that you have a rough draft and writing materials, it’s time to transform your rough draft into a proper love letter. Make sure that you have a stable writing surface and are comfortable using your chosen writing utensil.
Even though you already have a rough draft, it is still possible to make mistakes during transcription. These mistakes usually happen when you try to write too quickly. If possible, try to read the letter out loud as you transcribe it— this will help you slow down.
Step Five: Add Some Finishing Flourishes
Though this step is arguably optional, I strongly encourage you to go the extra mile with a few finishing flourishes either on the paper or inside the envelope! These could be a doodle related to the content of your love letter, a photograph, a pressed flower, or even a spritz of perfume.
Step Six: Share Your Love Letter
If you intend on mailing your love letter, be sure to clearly write out your recipient’s name and address in the center of the envelope as well as your own in the top left corner— you don’t want the letter to go missing because your handwriting was illegible! As someone who generally writes in cursive, I try to use precise print on envelopes when they are being mailed and not personally delivered.
Alternatively, you can personally deliver your love letter to the recipient! Here are some ideas for how to do so:
Present the love letter to them at the end of a date
Tuck the love letter under their pillow or place it on top of their pillow
Bring the recipient breakfast in bed with the love letter on a tray next to the food
Sneak it into their purse or briefcase as a nice surprise to find later in the day
Give them the letter alongside a bouquet of their favorite flowers or perhaps even a box of chocolates
Step Seven: Relax
Now that you have sent off your romantic love letter, you can rest easy knowing your heartfelt, poignant message will take the recipient’s breath away and be treasured for years to come.
