Is It Time To Break Up? 5 Questions To Ask Before Cutting Ties
Nobody pursues love with a vision of an unhappy ending. We seek new relationships with a sense of hope, believing that this person could be the one that will make us happy. We are looking for an authentic connection that will go the distance - right?
The beautiful thing about relationships is that they deepen in their color spectrum over time.
When stronger feelings become established, it can be hard to see things clearly. When we face complicated disputes in our partnerships, it can be tricky to know what's too much beyond initial emotion or adrenaline-fuelled flash decisions.
Before you break it off for good, consider where your cause for doing so might be coming from.
Here are 5 crucial questions to ask yourself before calling time on your relationship:
Do they bring out the worst sides of my character? The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. Do you find that you are more irritable around this person, or that you tend to snap more easily? Perhaps spending time with them is leaving you feeling unsure of yourself? If so, this situation is not suitable for your wellbeing. It might not be that they are a toxic partner necessarily, but right now, being around them is bringing an unhealthy element to your daily experiences. No one is perfect, and we cannot blame another person for our actions ultimately. But pay close attention to how the people you spend your time with make you feel. They should be raising you up, not the opposite.
What are my energy levels like after I spend time with this person? We all go through difficult times in life, and sometimes one partner will need to step up to support the other more than usual. This is normal and a healthy process. Emotional vampires, on the other hand, are extremely draining. They leave us feeling deflated and depressed. Your partner doesn't need to be a constant cheerleader for you. But they need to be able to build you up when you're feeling down. Does your partner encourage positive energy within you or the opposite? Think it over.
Is this person respecting my core values? Having different interests and hobbies is a healthy and totally normal part of being in a couple. It's good to engage in differing interests and mix with varying friends to one another sometimes. However, if your values don't align with your partners, then this is likely to cause significant issues between you going forwards. It's a non-negotiable that will cause disputes in the short and long term future. If you are always having to stick up for the beliefs you have and are left feeling unsupported in doing so, then this is not something to ignore. Pay attention to how you think and the narrative of what you are saying here.
Do they support my dreams and ambitions? Life is about exploration. It is about finding out what makes us happy and heading wholeheartedly in the direction of it. We deserve to dream. Even if we never end up acting on those intentions, they should still be heard aloud and celebrated! If your partner is discouraging you from pursuing the ideas that truly set your heart alight, then this isn't a partnership that can make you happy. Would you ask them to abandon their greatest dreams? Exactly.
Why am I looking for articles like this one to validate my feelings? You are here because something doesn't feel right. You are reading these words because you have sought out online validation for what your gut is trying to tell you. Perhaps you are seeking final permission to let go of this relationship, and you are searching for clues to help you to do exactly that. There is a strong reason you're here reading this. Pay attention to what you're telling yourself.
Healthy, happy love is about finding a balance that works for you both. The sense of balance doesn't just exist between you both - it also needs to be found within yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed in your relationship more than you are feeling happy, then this unevenness needs to be addressed before it brings further damage to you.
Your wellbeing is important at all times - you deserve a love that reflects your worth, no matter what the personal circumstances or the specific situation might be. Our romantic partner doesn't need to be an exact reflection of us or any perfect version of themselves. But they do need to take great care of us on a consistent basis. It's not a part-time care role.
You are worth loving properly. Every. Single. Time.
Perhaps after reading this piece, you feel that there are steps you can take to heal the problems you are facing together. Sometimes when initial stress has subsided, or we have taken the time we need to reflect. This is so we can find a peaceful resolution that will remedy the situation. Seeking the support of a qualified relationship expert or counselor could be a healthy step for you both to take in this case.
However, if your relationship is dragging you down, then it might be time to let it go for good. By doing so, you will be leaving positive and plentiful space open for the right person and the best experiences to come and fill your future.
The right person will make you feel more of your best self, not less. Never forget that.
