Self Care & Self Love: Why It’s Vital In Today’s Relationships

Do you remember the movie scene in ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’ when she is heartbroken by the callous Cleaver, before being disastrously abandoned by Darcy? Well, you might remember that Bridget doesn’t busy herself with her work, or throw herself into a new fitness regime at that point. No, she sits in the bath, has a good cry, and eats a pile of snacks. She takes time to heal. She rests, she laments, and she looks after herself.

Exactly this, gentle soul, is modern self care!

Our newsfeeds tend to have a habit of fooling us into thinking we need to track our successes in order to validate their existences. Although social media can be a positive presence, it can also lead us to create false beliefs about who we need to be, and how soon we need to be achieve it. In truth, there’s absolutely no need involved. Life is about pursuing what makes you happy, in whatever works for you.

The joy of life is in the explorations and the journey itself, not the final destination.

No matter how strong a grip you might have on where you want to go in life, it can be tough to keep your chin up when life throws you some curve balls. Even on the days we think we’ve got life handled, it can all come crashing down when our emotions get involved, or when we are too exhausted to deal with obstacles as they arise.

Generally, we all cope far better with life’s ups and downs when we are well rested. Ever tried to make a life changing decision or deal with a dispute of any kind while tired and hungry? Exactly. It didn’t work out too well - and for good reason! You are not a machine, you are a human. You are a human full of feeling, emotions, experiences, and opinions. You need good fuel to keep going, and bright energy to keep up your shine!

Self love has never been more important than right now. Not just this era, or this year. But this exact moment in time. This precise moment, as you are reading these words. The reason being, is that self love is - and always should be - your highest priority. It is your lifeblood, and your breath. Without it, you are essentially flying a plane with a blindfold, and empathetically hoping you don’t hit anything or run out of fuel. Not smart.

Remove that blindfold and stop to fill your engines. This is your moment to do so.

Never before have we been so immersed in celebrity images and comparison culture. What was once limited within the pages of fashion magazines and tabloid newspapers is now spread across the internet, filling every advert space we see, and loading on every newsfeed we scroll through. Not only that, but influencers and ‘insta-famous’ models are also very present in our consciousness.

 No matter who you are or where you live, you cannot help but be bombarded in some way by the barrage of voices and brightly lit (and airbrushed) images that are constantly emerging online and on television. Even a simple trip to the supermarket involves walking past the glossy images that fill news stands and magazine racks as we walk into the store. Let alone the ‘likes’ and the follower counts we see our friends and acquaintances enjoying.

It’s safe to say that right now, you need some self love. To live and exist happily and healthily in the current world, self love is not just a luxury; it’s a prerequisite. It should form a fundamental part of your healthcare, as a cornerstone to your daily wellbeing. It should be, but perhaps it isn’t always.

Because it can be tough to find time to keep up with it all - right?

Self care doesn’t have to be complex. It doesn’t need to involve lots of fancy equipment or expensive training. You don’t need a specific guru to show you how to do it, unless you particularly want one. Self care should be as simple as the title suggests. It is the care taking of the self. It is the practice and habit of caretaking your needs, tending to them as and when you need to.

There are a wide choice of forms of self care that won’t cost you a single penny. Meditation is a significant key example, of course. Take time out from your daily schedule to take some deep breaths into your belly. Practice exhaling a little slower than you inhale (a few seconds more each time) could transform your levels of stress in ways you might have never expected. This is just one example of how you can weave self care into your routine, without costing the Earth.

If you are struggling to get to grips with taking care of yourself, or you’re not used to doing so, then you aren’t alone. Many of us struggle to place ourselves first in the priority list. Many of us are very used to looking after everyone else around us long before ourselves. The next time you feel you are floundering, change your perspective of yourself to being your own friend. What would you do for a friend needing a break? What would you suggest for a friend who is overwhelmed? This technique should make things a lot easier.

You are a 100% unique human being. You offer the world perspectives, values and skills no one else can, in ways that are individual to you. You have fought this hard to get this far, and you deserve to be taken good care of. So start taking some fantastic care of yourself - there’s never been a better or more important time to do so!