The Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
When we might conjure the image of an unhealthy relationship, what do we refer to in our mind's eye? Perhaps we have had an experience of one earlier in our lives. Then there's that painful break-up that somehow still floats into our consciousness now and again, despite being entirely unwanted. In most cases, we tend to identify an unhealthy relationship after it's ended. Retrospect is a powerful thing.
But do we know how to identify an unhealthy relationship while it's actually happening?
The thing with negative relationship behaviors is that they are tough to spot when we are bonded to the person who is causing difficulty. We are blinded by how we feel and far more likely to make excuses for toxicity when we ultimately don't want to lose a loved one from our lives. This attachment makes finding red flags a much trickier task to navigate. If someone was rude to you on a first date, you'd instantly recognize that the behavior was inappropriate and most likely would not want to see the other person again. You aren't bonded to one another, and your emotions are not tied into their response to you. From this standpoint, you can see things very clearly indeed. Yet when a partner of a much longer-term is neglectful of you, you might be tempted to make excuses for them being this way. Perhaps you might put it down to a bad day, or even a problematic month or year. Maybe you might tell yourself that their sharp words are 'not really them' and that you love them 'enough' to see past it all.
Of course—we do all have our bad days now and then.
Sometimes we need our partners to make some allowances for us. We are human, and we make mistakes. It is perfectly acceptable to overreact a little sometimes. Healthy relationships aren't perfect relationships! However, if your partner is crossing the line of acceptability drastically and consistently, then this needs to be addressed. Boundaries have a lot to do with marking out what is termed 'right' and 'wrong' within a relationship. What is totally okay within one partnership may be totally unacceptable in another. We each have our own personal lines of boundary that stem from past experiences, psychological conditions, and individual preferences.Ultimately, our boundaries are vital if we are to cultivate healthy and happy love within our lives. Being unaware of what they are can leave us vulnerable to abuse and prevent us from building the kind of relationship we want and deserve in our lives. Consider them the compass from which you know which way to romantically navigate forwards!
So—how can we spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship while it's actually happening?
One of the best ways to work out the health condition of a relationship is to look deeply within oneself.
Instead of analyzing the other person and trying to spot giveaway clues and signs of red flags, turn your perspective inwards. Check-in with how you're feeling.
Are you more stressed than you might usually be?
Do you find yourself feeling reactive after spending time with your partner?
External factors such as work pressure and familial responsibilities can contribute to negative thinking and raised anxiety levels.
However—if you find that your emotions consistently spike within the company of your partner and in the hours after they leave, then you need to spend some time reflecting on why this might be.
You hold the answers you're looking for— right here, right now.
We are all placed on this Earth with a robust set of instincts. They are present within us to keep us safe from harm. That fight or flight reaction you might be struggling with is actually trying to tell you something significant! That twist in your stomach when your phone lights up with a call from your partner isn't necessarily just a bad call. It might be the sign of a bad relationship!
Learning to listen to ourselves isn't easy. We are surrounded by a plethora of influences around us each and every day. From 'insta-perfect' couples we see online to conversations with family about when we may or may not settle down, it can be tough to let your inner voice be heard amongst the chaos. But it's vital to practice this skill in order to keep ourselves free from harm and potential abuse, ultimately.
Never forget that relationships are not meant to be a personal challenge or a quest to overcome. Connection with another human is intended to be a beautiful thing, not an assessment of your personal character. If you feel like you are fighting to breathe within the partnership you're in; then it might be time to find a relationship where you can inhale and exhale fully. You deserve to breathe easy, always.
I am willing to make an informed guess that you are here reading these words for an almighty reason. Perhaps you did a web search on 'what are the signs of a bad relationship' or similar, and you landed up here. You could have read a million other articles right this minute. But you clicked on this one for a reason. What drew you to this particular spot—and why?
Letting go of a love we have had is difficult, no matter how long it has been a part of our lives. But you deserve to be loved fully, without limit or condition. If you are in a situation that isn't bringing out the best of the brilliant person you are, then find someone who will help you to evolve in the way you deserve. You are a unique, incredible human being with an array of gifts to offer.
Share those rare gifts with someone who truly appreciates you.
