Top 10 Relationship Money Mistakes
I am going to drop a 'word bomb' here that many couples fear using. It's something we use every day, that we need to survive, and that we cannot escape. Yet we so often shy away from when we are doing all we can to keep the peace with the person we love. What am I referring to here?
Yes, that's right — money.
You're not alone, we interviewed over 100+ married then divorced couples, and they all mentioned money as one of the hardest things to discuss and navigate in their failed relationship.
This article has been created to help ease the stress and the sore points that financial discussions can have. Consider this article as a friendly and impartial financial advisor without the sales pitch. You're going to want to know what's being said here.
In fact, the future of your relationship relies on it.
To prevent falling into the common traps many couples face (or to pull you back out of them) here are 10 key tips to help you reach financial freedom within your relationship:
Overspending - When we first meet someone, our instinct is often to do everything we can to impress and take care of the other person. We head out on special dates. We pay for fancy meals. We spend a little extra on our appearance each week. As times goes on, some adjustment occurs. Treating each other is still important, but avoiding crippling debt is far more of an expression of love. Overspending is a stress accelerator which can lead to break-ups. Is one moment of thrill worth the financial strain the price tag incurs?
Secret Debt - The key to a healthy relationship is honesty. It doesn't have to be brutal, but it does have to be clear and consistent. If you have debt stashed away out of sight then you need to open up and let your partner know. Avoiding it will only spell trouble later down the line for you both. Debt is not something to be ashamed of. It's simply a problem that needs tackling. Remove the sting from the situation and lay your cards on the table - including your credit cards!
Exaggerated Income - Perhaps you got a little carried away with the details of exactly how much commission you earned each month when you were first dating. It happens sometimes. But your partner is going to need to know the facts if you are going to be able to successfully plan a future together. Bite the bullet and confess as soon as possible.
Squirreled Savings - Perhaps you're a natural hoarder and you've been quietly squirreling away savings for years. Share this with your partner in a conversation of transparent honesty. If they are a good fit then they will want to applaud you for your hard work, not whip it away from you! Finding it hard to be open? Spend time looking into why you feel this way. It could run deeper than pride.
Poor Communication - Out of sight does not mean out of mind. Suppose you and your partner are avoiding talking about who pays for what then you need to address the issue. It's perfectly okay to not feel comfortable talking money initially, but the more open you are the easier it will become. Set aside quality time to lay out what your intentions are and what your position is. You'll both be glad you did.
Lack of Planning - 57% of Americans have less than $1000 in savings right now! We have become societally accustomed to accepting debt as a way of life. However, by living too much in the moment and not planning ahead, we run the risk of personal economic disaster in the future. Make plans that inspire you both, and that makes you both feel excited about your future together. You both deserve it.
Alignment Failure - Are you dreaming of spending your trust fund nest egg on beach vacations and city breaks, while your partner is burying themselves in real estate plans? You may need to check in with each other pretty soon, if so! It's healthy to have different interests from each other. However, if you are headed in very different directions in terms of how you plan to spend your future money, then you may need to discuss what you both truly want from the relationship.
Ego Trouble - Too stubborn to admit that the condo you swore you would love and adore…actually isn't worth the money you are pouring into it? It's okay to change plans and admit that a plan hasn't worked. This is all part of being in a progressive relationship. Check-in with one another regularly to make sure you're both on the same page, and allow for natural changes to your plans within reason. Remember, you're on the same team here.
Empty Toolbox - Are you 'guesstimating' your monthly income, or just hoping for the best in terms of savings? You're not doing yourself or your partner any favors by doing so. Equip yourselves with the tools you need to survive and thrive. Download the financial management apps. at will help your particular situation and keep records of your income and expenditure on a weekly basis.
Rhythm Failure - The most important thing you need to remember is that you are both arriving into this relationship from differing sets of life experiences and perspectives. No matter how aligned you are, it's crucial to the long term wellbeing of your relationship to ensure you respect one another's approach to life - including money. Set aside quality time to listen to one another without jumping in with contrasting thoughts too early. It could transform your approach to your finances together.
Life has curveballs. With this in mind, do everything you can to create a pocket of savings that will see you through a potential crisis. You cannot predict the future, but you can make healthy plans to prepare for whatever might be thrown at you.
Plan for the worst - and the very best!
Having savings set aside that could see you through 6 months of rent and expenses will not only ease your minds but could also see you through a difficult patch together down the road.
Did you know we crafted the ultimate couple budget guide to help proactive couples like you avoid these mistakes?
