Green Flags In A Relationship: 5 Signs You Live In A Loving, Strong, And Appreciative Relationship
A healthy relationship based on trust, love, and dedication doesn't just happen, it's something you have to work toward, tending and growing every day. The goal is to build a strong foundation for your family, whatever that may look like, based on compassion and forgiveness with the ultimate goal of creating a positive place for everyone, together.
How do you know, though, that this person you have chosen to be with is the person for you?
You will notice, throughout your relationship, both the positives and the negatives about the person you have fallen in love with. Many of us have been taught to look for red flags that may warn us of potential problems in the future, such as a track record of dishonesty or a consistent lack of everyday communication. But, what about the things our partners do that set them apart from everyone else? What about their subtle, but amazing qualities that everyone else may not even notice?
If red flags are warnings of future problems, green flags, by contrast, and definition, can show us what an amazing person we have chosen to stand with, side by side. But, what are green flags, and how will we notice them?
Photo by Chermiti Mohamed from Unsplash
What are Green Flags?
Since Kindergarten, or at least since we have begun driving, we have been taught that green means 'go' and red means' stop'. Red flags in a person's behavior mean that you need to stop and address the problems directly or move forward in your life without them. Red flags can be subtle or obnoxious, damaging or detrimental. And you don't have to live with them.
On the other hand, green flags are supportive behaviors that only reinforce feelings of love and acceptance.These behaviors encourage growth, and even independence, within your relationship and within yourself. Green flags are signs of true strength and dependability. They promise constructive communication, protection, and equality in your conjoined future.
If you want to be that happy couple that can work together on their problems and is open to each other's point of view, then communicate with each other and appreciate the positive aspects that your partner has to offer you. So, what does a green flag look or feel like?
Green Flags: 5 Examples That Lead To A Positive And Growing Relationship
Some of y'all may have seen Chazz Palminteri's A Bronx Tale sometime in the last thirty or so years. One of the greatest scenes in the play/movie shows an excellent example of a green flag. An Italian teenager in the Bronx believes that he has found 'the one’ and he seeks advice from a mentor about how he would know if the relationship was meant to be. His mentor has a 'foolproof' plan for detection that ends up favorably for our main character.
He is told to watch his date through the back window as he moves around the car after shutting her door. The goal was to observe his date's behavior and determine his opinion from that. If she reaches over and unlocks his car door for him, then she's a keeper. If she doesn't, she's selfish (red flag) and is not the lady for him. Though we don't advise the technique, the purpose and the response were perfect.
The young man witnesses his date leaning all the way over and unlocking the door for him as he jumps with excitement. He has noticed a green flag and feels confident continuing the relationship.
There are several examples of green flags that may give you an understanding of what to look for in a healthy relationship:
They ask questions about you.
A supportive partner will want to know how your day was and how you are feeling. They will empathize with your negatives and help you celebrate the positives. Your partner should be your best friend. Do they act this way? A person who loves you wants you to be happy, healthy, independent, and open.
People outside your relationship respond positively to your partner and your future with them.
The fact is that we do not, and cannot, see what others may observe about ourselves and our lives. They see us differently than we see ourselves. If you receive excellent feedback from those you trust the most, you have a big green flag.
A great partner is someone who invests in your safety and your security.
Who do they think of first in a crisis? Suppose you and your partner were in a minor car accident. Would they turn to you and check on your well-being before cussing about the situation, or checking on the status of their car? Would your partner leave you behind if you fell while being chased by zombies? A huge green flag is their ability to look beyond themselves and value your safety over their own.
You don't have to question their love or feelings for you
Do you feel loved and accepted? Do you feel free to express yourself and communicate openly? A healthy relationship is defined by how it makes you feel, and a huge green flag lies within you. Ask yourself this: Do you leave your home every day knowing, without a doubt, that you are loved? Many people don't have that luxury and if you have it, count yourself among the lucky and consider this feeling as, perhaps, the most important green flag you will ever know.
The right partner will enjoy making plans for your future together.
Do you talk about your goals? You know when you are in a stable and positive relationship and environment when you can make concrete and/or long-term plans and stick with them. Have there been any shady last-minute cancellations or changes made without your consent? Relationships are built together, not apart. A healthy relationship involves two people working side by side, figuring out life together.
Acknowledging these excellent behaviors and attitudes is a large part of constructive communication and a relationship based on love and acceptance. They will appreciate the recognition and appreciation. Once you notice your partner's green flags, you may want to identify your own and see what you can do to increase the quality of your actions. Reciprocation counts heavily.
Identify Your Own Green Flags: Giving Love And Trust
One amazing way to learn how to recognize your loved one's tremendous qualities is to identify your own green flags and expand upon them as the two of you grow in your relationship. This, of course, takes honest communication. Ask your partner what your green flags are. Once you are aware of what they deem most important, you can expand your own repertoire, and they can do the same.
If your goal is to build a long-lasting relationship, together, you can't only discuss your problems. Your relationship can end up being defined by these problems, and you can lose sight of what truly matters: what brings you together and not what pulls you apart.
A relationship at its healthiest will go through ups and downs. Still, you two will always come back together stronger in the end as long as you constructively communicate your problems and do not lose track of the little things. These green flags prove to you that you are in the right place.
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