How to get out of Sex Slumps
Have you gone from active lovers to a sexless couple? It's frustrating, challenging, and disheartening when your desire for sex seems to disappear.
Like the moon, our sexual drive levels will wax and wane. There will be times when you both seem to be running a sex-a-thon. At other times, you will feel you're in a celibate desert.
This is normal—no need to panic or fear that your love for each other is fading away. What is important is how you two stick together and how you both move forward without the judgment/anxiety of being a little rusty/awkward when you return to having sex again.
It takes emotional maturity to acknowledge and be okay with these sex shifts.
Additionally, it's important to be aware of how your bodies change. What turned you on a year ago might not turn you on today. Pay attention to yourselves and each other, and continue to speak openly about your desires, feelings, and libido.
Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech
Talk about it
Try to identify the specific problem. Maybe it's not the frequency but the quality, intensity, or type of sex you're experiencing. Or perhaps you feel a bit disconnected from each other. Or you're not addressing each other's preferred arousal language. Or maybe there's been a massive change in your lives, and you haven't adjusted well yet.
You won't know if you don't ask or discuss it. Find the root cause together.
Start Over
If it's been a while, don't assume that your new sex life will continue right where you left off. It might be awkward or weird at first, and that's okay.
Use this as an opportunity to start over. Go on dates, flirt again, take things slowly, overall, try to see and experience each other like your early days together.
Reboot your sexual confidence
It's hard to be in the mood for sex if you don't feel sexy or confident.
Spark that sexuality in yourself again, whether if it's through working out, taking a burlesque class, or indulging in a makeover.
If you make time to love yourself and turn yourself on, it may help you get in the mood to share your body again.
Check your health
There might be an underlying health condition, or it might even be your medication that could be inhibiting your libido. Check-in with your health to see if all things are healthy and functioning well!
This includes your mental health. If you need to do some healing, put in the time and effort to do so.
Being in a sexual rut isn't fun, especially when it's affecting your relationship. That's why it's essential to address the issue with your partner instead of hoping for your sexual desires to magically ramp up in sync one day. Like everything else in a relationship, (good) sex and talking about sex takes practice.
