There is something particularly daunting about writing a love poem— whether or not you write frequently, having your loved one (or hopefully soon-to-be loved one) as your imagined audience puts a different kind of pressure on the blank page. 

Love poems also carry the baggage accompanying any longstanding tradition, particularly one filled with venerated figures. Because love poems inevitably evoke this tradition, they can become rather intimidating— How am I supposed to write like Shakespeare?—and thus deter people from believing that they too can write a romantic poem worthy of their loved one.

But it doesn’t have to be complicated or even rhyme! It just must be sincere. And there are as many ways to accomplish this in a love poem as there are to love someone. 

Step one: Choose a Topic

Sure, you’ve decided to write a love poem, so your topic is technically love. However, that’s an extremely broad and abstract category, which is rarely a good thing. If you aim only for the abstract, more likely than not, the poem will fail to convey what your experience of this particular love is. 

Step Two: Brainstorm

In the initial stages of composition, I find that making lists with bullet points of sensations and/or experiences can be very helpful. 

Here are some writing prompts to help inspire you: 

• What are the best dates you and your loved one have gone on?

• What are some things they have done or continually do that you appreciate?

• What makes them special or different than others?

• Have y’all traveled together? If so, jot down some of your favorite travel memories. If not, imagine places you would like to go with them. 

• What would you like your relationship with them to look like in the future?

• Do y’all have any inside jokes? Write about them. 

• What reminds you of them?  

Don’t worry about whether you can see any connections between your bullet points yet: think of this like an idea bank, not something that has to be perfect or even comprehensive. 

That being said, chances are that as you start to externalize your thoughts and memories onto a page, patterns or thematic concerns will emerge. And even if they don’t, there are still plenty of ways to find them.

For example, as you review what you have written thus far, star or highlight what you find most poignant upon revisitation. After doing so, make a new list (but don’t get rid of your old one) with only those key points and repeat the process until a subject more personal and specific than ‘love’ reveals itself. 

Step Three: Take a Break

At this point, you might want to take a break and let the ideas have some room to flesh themselves out— not all of the labor put into writing a love poem has to involve directly thinking about it. Perhaps go for a walk, do the dishes, or answer the email that’s been sitting in your inbox a bit too long. It really doesn’t matter what you do. 

Conversely, if you find yourself in a particularly inspired state, you should (of course) skip this step and keep on writing!

Step Four: Choose a Structure for your Poem

Though some people like to write without a particular form in mind, having a form can make writing your love poem a lot easier because it gives you parameters to work within. 

Haiku

One of the most potent forms you can use is a haiku, which is an ancient form of Japanese poetry. It consists of three lines: the first line has five syllables, the second line has seven syllables, and the third line has five syllables. Because haikus are so compact, it is a great option if you want to include your love poem in a card. 

Sonnet

You also can’t go wrong with a sonnet— they’re a classic way of writing romantic poems for a reason! Sonnets are fourteen lines long. So, even though they are longer than Haikus, they are still not very long. Traditionally, these lines were written in meter and rhymed, but nowadays they don’t have to be! 

Acrostic

If you want to make your love poem really personal, an acrostic poem might be right for you! For acrostic poems, if you read the poem from top to bottom, the first letter of each line spells out a word. This word could be your loved one’s name, the place where you met, or even something related to an inside joke. 

Ode

An ode is another option that is less structured than the other forms mentioned thus far. The word “ode” is derived from the Greek word “aeidein,” which means “to sing or chant.” Odes are written in praise of a person, thing, or event. They are usually addressed to someone or something. So, for a romantic poem you would have it addressed to your loved one. It could also be about a particularly special moment in your relationship or a significant object. 

Concrete

If you are feeling adventurous, you might want to try writing a concrete poem! Concrete poems are written to form a particular image or shape that enhances the poem’s meaning. A lot of times people think concrete poems are cheesy or straightforward, but they don’t have to be! Try thinking outside of the box: you could make it in the shape of something your loved one enjoys, like a camera if they are into photography or a compass if they like to travel. 

Step Five: Choose the right writing environment

Something that people can forget about when it comes time to write is how where you are writing affects your process. For example, ask yourself questions like: Are you distracted when you try to write in public places like coffee shops? Do desks make you feel too formal and stiff?

Another important aspect about setting the tone for your writing environment is whether you choose to listen to music and what kind of music you listen to. If you want to listen to music, a good option might be making a playlist of songs that remind you of your loved one for inspiration. 

Step Six: Write a Rough Draft

Now that you know what you want to write about and how you want to write it, it is time to write a rough draft!

Personally, I like to start writing poems on a physical page: the computer makes the editing side of my brain turn on, which can be debilitating because it makes me more self-critical. But naturally, this doesn’t happen to everyone. It’s just worth considering how different ways of translating your thoughts into actual words affects your process. But regardless of how or where you start writing, do your best to not edit anything yet— just get everything out. Like most advice, this is easier said than done but ultimately isn’t impossible. 

Step Seven: Edit

Now that you have a rough draft, you must start making more nuanced decisions. Unless you have decided to write a prose poem, some of the most important decisions you have to make are where you want your line breaks to be (aka where one line ends and another begins) and whether you want to have more than one stanza (aka where you have more than one group of lines that are separated from others with blank space). Generally speaking, I like to think of lines as units of breath and stanzas as units of thought, though of course there are always exceptions. 

Another crucial aspect of this stage is deciding to what extent you want to incorporate figurative language like similes and metaphors. Though you don’t need figurative language in a poem, it can be a good way to elevate the level of impact your words have.

Step Eight: Relax

If you are getting overwhelmed by all this technical talk, don’t freak out— at the end of the day what’s important is that you are writing what feels good. So, take a deep breath, give yourself a pat on the back, and focus on your affective responses to your love poem. More likely than not, if you feel something potent when you read it, your loved one will, too. 

Step Nine: Share your Love Poem

Last but certainly not least, it’s time to share your love poem with your loved one. Naturally, there are many ways you can do this. Here are a few ideas for how to share your poem:

• If the poem is for a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary, including the poem in a card is a great option.

• If you are traveling without them, you might want to consider writing the poem on a postcard from where you are and mail it to your loved one.

• If you are in a long-distance relationship, you could send your loved one a letter with the poem in it.

• If you’re feeling brave, you could memorize the poem and surprise your loved one with a recitation. 

• If you want to surprise them but do so in a subtle way, you could sneak the poem into your loved one’s bag or even slip it under their pillow.

• If you want to have a particularly romantic date, reading the poem to your loved one is a great way to set the tone and mood.

Though I know sharing a love poem can be daunting no matter what method you choose, just remember everything that made you want to write it until your heart beats a little bit faster from excitement—not anxiety—and I’m sure you’ll forget all but those feelings your love poem is a testament to.