7 Ways To Keep Your Sex Life Alive During The Holidays
The holidays are super stressful. The only way to get through them is to find some peace of mind somewhere in the middle of all that chaos. And one of the ways to do that is to, you know, have sex. Many people don't realize how powerful sex can be. Planned Parenthood actually created an entire report that shows the dozens of ways sex improves our health, including stress relief, better sleep, migraine relief, and a clearer mind.
You may think that sex takes up a lot more of your time than it actually does. Or you feel like you don't have enough time to fit a sex life into your schedule. You may even feel like every little thing that could possibly end up on your to-do list is getting pushed in front of the time spent with your partner. You don't have to go out that way. You don't have to spend the holidays in a sex drought! We want you to know that having sex during the holidays isn’t as inconvenient as it’s made out to be. And this is the time, the holiday season is the time, to get more bang for your buck — so to speak.
Sex is only one part of intimacy. In truth, there are various ways to be intimate with your partner without ever engaging in sex itself. The beauty of intimacy is the closeness you feel to the other person. One survey found that adults in America are most interested in sexual behaviors that aren't sexual in nature at all, but romantic and affectionate in nature. This insight says a lot about how we, as people, are capable of connecting to others in a plethora of ways. There's no one-type-of-intimacy-fits-all here.
Because the holidays take up a lot of our mental and emotional energy, we should seek out methods of replenishing. Otherwise, we’re frantically running around, burning ourselves out. Do yourself a favor and find those moments of replenishment. And trust that making time for sex may be one of them.
You asked. We listened and rounded up seven practical ways to keep that flame alive and thriving during Christmas and well into the New Year.
Connect Every Morning
Before you get out of bed or during breakfast or while reading the paper, find time for the two of you to connect. You can share your goals for the day, express what each of you is grateful for, or say nothing at all and gaze into each other's eyes for a few moments. Take some time every morning to be with each other and to share that intimate space with each other. It's a wonderful start to the many busy days ahead of you.
Touch A Little, For Pete’s Sake
We have no idea who Pete is but we're guessing that he (they) could use some comfort in the middle of all the holiday hubbub. Touch doesn't always have to be sexual. You can find intimacy in a hug, a kiss, or a hand-hold. The next time you're sitting in traffic, use a free hand and graze the top of their knee. At a holiday function, either with family or friends, find an opportunity to touch the small of their back or brush against their arm. Touch in any circumstance can give you those tingly sensations when they're from the right person.
Adjust To Your (Temporary) Schedules
The holiday season is full of events on top of events that wouldn't ordinarily pop up in your calendar during any of the other nine months. The best way to keep your schedule from frustrating you and your attempts at intimacy is to adjust. Save time by having shower sex or a quickie in the car. If you're staying with in-laws, find places in the house that leave you two uninterrupted for stretches of time. Carve out a little time even when it seems like you have no time. You don't necessarily have to watch the oven as it cooks your meal, right?
Tell Them You Love Them (Or That They Look *Particularly* Good)
Everybody is in their own heads around this time. It's easy to get swept up in doing your own thing and getting things marked off your checklist. But finding the time to show how much you appreciate your partner can go a long way. Get creative and show them that you're still their ride-or-die. Send dirty texts in a room full of relatives at a family function or co-workers at a work function. Write a cute message on a piece of paper to brighten up their day and put it where they'll find it. Let them know that even when your mind is on other things, that they never truly leave it.
Prioritize Your Relationship
Right now may be the time when your relationship gets the scraps of your time and energy but don't let that happen. Put as much attention into your relationship as you ordinarily would, maybe a little bit more. Every second that you spend on your relationship matters all the time. Share your feelings about holiday arrangements, find time to do things together, appreciate their presence at family and work events.
Use The Season To Your Advantage
Tis the season to think outside of the box and to let the warm feelings of the holiday season spread into the bedroom (or wherever else you end up). Snuggle up and watch a Christmas movie together. Make your room into a wonderland sanctuary where the two of you can spend the end of your day unwinding and decompressing from the day.
A few other good ways to use the season to your advantage:
Kiss underneath the mistletoe
Roleplay
Wear sensual lingerie
Gift a sex toy to spice things up
Create A Between-You-Two Game
Inside jokes are one of the many nonsexual ways to share intimacy. This, however, doesn't mean that sex isn't on the table. During a family event, while Christmas shopping, or at a work function, create a game out of mundane occurrences. Include some friendly wagers to liven it up.
A good example is if Uncle Sam mentions the "good old days" more than five times at a function, then one of you is in charge of picking the time and place of your next rendezvous. Another example is playing a simple game of Boggle and making it so the loser has to streak in the middle of the street. Make it interesting, keep it light, and above all else have fun with it.
